1. |
The Mountain Top
04:02
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In the year 2014
I was obsessed with not feeling a thing.
Blown through all of my self confidence,
My ambitions came crashing down from their shelf.
Where I'd placed them trying to be
Something maybe I shouldn't have tried to be,
Or maybe tried harder it's so hard to tell,
All I know is that it sucked.
All I needed I thought was a drink
All I needed I thought was to stay down
What good was there in trying to get out?
I didn't find God on the mountain top
God found me at the bottom of the world
And his grace was extended to me
When I didn't have enough grace for myself.
A spiritual high?
More like the lowest I had ever been in my entire life.
I did not deserve the love I felt that night
And I don't deserve his grace.
It's hard to forgive myself sometimes
But I learn and I get better
I move on because my strength is not my own.
I didn't have the strength to get back up.
I didn't have the will,
I couldn't do it on my own.
All I needed was you
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2. |
Forgiveness
02:36
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Father forgive me for I have sinned
My hands have been places they never should have been.
Father forgive me for I have sinned
I know now the trouble the mind can get you in.
It's been years, would it be weird?
Do you need any closure?
Is it wrong to bring it up?
Is it my selfish nature?
The same that got me into this mess,
Got me filled up with regret.
I'm better now would you care to see
Just how much you changed me?
It wouldn't be that hard to just reach out and say I'm sorry.
But if those wounds have healed,
If you've moved on
I don't want them to reopen.
I guess in writing this I'm saying out loud what should have already been said.
The thought of facing you now it seems so hard it fills me with dread.
At what point do I move on?
At what point do I forgive myself?
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3. |
Growing Up
03:12
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I never wanted to grow up
Those things my parents cared about
They always seemed so boring.
I just want to have fun
But the world is so messed up
And now I've got my own son.
I almost wish I didn't care
But apathy will get us nowhere.
So I'm growing up
As hard as that is
I'm starting to care about all of this
Cause a better world starts with you and me,
A bit of love a little empathy.
As kid I was always told
I was way too young for horror movies
But I was being raised in one and now I can't not see
All the horrible things going on around me,
I guess I'm old enough to face reality.
How am I supposed to handle this?
Growing up is getting old too fast.
I almost wish I didn't care
But apathy will get us nowhere.
How am I supposed to handle this?
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4. |
The Sparrow
03:37
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Thank God for where I am today
I spent so long wandering without aim
I denounced my faith
I sought out earthly gain
Yeah I was toxic
Needed healing
I was sick with hopeless feeling.
I can look back and find you in my darkest moments.
And those blessings I now recognize they bring me new laments,
Cause I'm surrounded by those
Who still only see you as hate
My prayers and focus have shifted
Cause my perspective changed.
Because your eye is on the Sparrow
But what about my friends?
Lord I know that you watch over me but what about them?
Retrospectively I see you in my life when I did not believe.
Do you chase after them like you chased me?
Lord I pray for those lost
Those suffering in situations feeling helpless.
Abusive relationships,
Addicted to substances
Neglected by those you call to love,
Those you call to care.
Back when I did not believe
You were still watching over me.
For that I'm thankful,
Will always praise your name.
I have friends in the same situation.
Who don't know what you have to offer them,
They don't care to know
But God I know.
The love that you have for them,
It knows no bounds.
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5. |
Squirm
03:37
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We are not just guilty
Of sitting idly by.
A violent history
White washed with lies.
We facilitate
We incubate
We harbor the hate
That divides us.
Historically
It's clear how we
Perpetuated
The sins of our country.
You only have to look
past all the lies
that we tell ourselves
To get us by.
If you think I am just trying to make you feel bad.
If the truth of our history makes you turn away.
If I can't bring it up,
Without you shelling up.
You need to check your heart.
You need to open your eyes.
If it makes you squirm.
If it makes you squirm.
If it makes you squirm.
Then you are too comfortable.
The knife that we buried
So long ago
The soil has sunken now.
And it's blade is on our back.
I hope it makes you squirm.
That it makes you uncomfortable
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6. |
Nationalist
02:22
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This all started in the 1970s with rise of the moral majority.
It's okay to have a problem with your country but this country is not a theocracy.
The false Shepard so easily manipulates.
What's it say about you that you need the threat if hell to keep you from sinning?
Trigger finger itching for a new civil war, but who would you be fighting for?
Your moral compass
It needs some calibration
The next crusades won't be in God's name.
You call yourself a Christian but you worship the flag.
The president is your new golden calf.
You call yourself a Christian but where lies your allegiance?
You're not a Christian you're a nationalist.
God gives us free will yet you seek control do you deserve to wield more power?
This new world order that you're fighting so hard for does it glorify God or simply alienate?
What's the appeal
When the end is totalitarianism
And the means is following blindly?
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7. |
The Hate of your People
03:52
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There were pitchforks raised on the day I lost my faith.
People who taught me my whole life to love now filled with such disdain.
Said to love the sinner, but hate the sin.
But it seemed that the only thing they saw was sin.
They didn't see the people that you created.
They didn't see the people so wonderfully made.
I watched them push so far away,
People who needed to know your name.
I don't want them to see the hate of your people let them see you in me.
Lord I don't want them to know you as vengeful, I want them to know you as I do.
Fill them with your love
And let them know your peace.
I don't want them to see the hate of your people let them see you in me.
I see it to this day, when will it go away?
When your people see this isn't how you say,
I love you
God loves you,
It's not standing on the street side Holding a big sign.
Playing God yourself
Screaming "you're gonna go to hell"
They pass out judgment do nothing but condemn.
How many lives could have been saved
If your people hadn't pushed them away?
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Brimstøne Huntersville, North Carolina
Christian leftist hardcore/ metal/ punk solo project or of North Carolina
Mark 12: 28-31
Micah 6: 8
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